Open Letter to Family & Friends

Dear Family and Friends,

Sometimes there are things that need to be conveyed that are much easier to read than to hear. We ask that you please read this open letter, consider our position, and please do not take offense. Your understanding and support is greatly appreciated in this matter.

As we prepare for the arrival of Lainee, we have learned that while getting her nursery ready and stocking up on baby essentials is important, even more important is the emotional health of our baby. In her short life, our daughter will have gone through more changes and life altering experiences than most adults have. Imagine how hard it would be to experience immense loss, including grief and trauma, not just once but now twice. Follow that with loss of all familiar and comforting surrounding you have ever known; top it off with no sense of security, and now encompassed that with struggling to have the ability to ever trust again. Keep in mind, she may not be in the best place right now, but it's her whole world.

We have taken much care to prepare to meet her emotional needs so that she will learn that we will always take care of her and keep her safe. Although to some it may appear we are spoiling her, we have been advised that it is best that we meet her every need quickly and consistently. Until she has learned that we are her parents, we will need to be her primary caregivers at all times. It is essential that we always hold her, feed her, and do all of the nurturing. You may be wondering how long this process will take, but the time frame is different for every child. We will follow her lead and continue to do so until we as her parents feel the bonding attachment has been made. Please keep in mind it could be a few days, weeks, or even months.

The less confusion we bring into her life at this time the better. We also ask that until she is familiar with and identifies with her name- Lainee, please refrain from any nicknames, including addressing her by her full or middle name.

Although we all have been waiting anxiously for Lainee to come home, we are reminded that she has not been waiting for us. She may show her grief and confusion in many ways. We are prepared to help her through this and prove that we are her family and this is truly her last stop. We trust that as our family and friends, you will help us to do what is best for our daughter, and we thank you in advance for you love, patience, understanding, and support.



This letter was taken from a wonderful parenting source and modified to fit our situation. We have prepared for a difficult transition, but have faith the Lord will allow a very smooth one.

Much Love,

Ryan and Danielle